The changes that occurred with me after the refuge was at a personal level. At the professional level, there was little knowledge in my field before the refuge. But after that, it becomes greater because of dealing with different and new patterns in the host society of different nationalities and moving away from dependency and increasing self-confidence through engaging in civil work as well as personal and non-personalized work in confronting challenges and problems due to increased experience during the work, such as organized work, organizing duties and rights.
I was playing double work after the refuge, I work the male and female tasks at the same time. Also, I was a volunteer at the Damma organization and now I became the supervisor in one of its departments, the kindergarten. I have proven my effectiveness in this work over five years in the center. One of the most important challenges I faced in the host country was the Lebanese's non-acceptance of the Syrian refugees, in addition to the educational curriculum, which was changed for students and became more difficult, as well as the deteriorating financial situation of the Syrians, and the men's fear of being unemployed. Some difficulties have been overcome by educating the children at the Educational Center to make them more able to integrate with the host community. The impact was done at the family and societal level by getting aware of my rights and obligations according to the family and improving the financial level.
I was an oriental woman, a housewife, who only delivered everything to my house, but the revolution began, and I started working in the field of relief and sponsorships for orphans. Of course, on a very small level, I gathered people I knew to make meals and help people. I was helping to secure the orphans. There was a lot of opposition to the campaign, and it was a policeman to find out that he continued to help the world in the same field, and indeed, I continued to help in the same field as mine, and I started volunteering with organizations here, as well as I can help the largest number of people. My work after refuge was volunteering with nations for six years.
I volunteered with the Beyond Organization and Molham team for six years. I was responsible for the Lebanon region in the team. During the first period, I worked in all medical and humanitarian fields, even campaigns and sponsorships for orphans. Medical children and I were responsible for children's clothing, and after that, I volunteered with Sawa in a project with un habitat and volunteered with the Qatari Medical Authority in the field of helping refugees in medical cases. As for the challenges and difficulties, they were from the family side, because I am a mother of three children, so I had difficulties working and staying outside the house for long periods, but my husband and children help me to overcome it. I work hard to give my family a sense of safety in the darkest and most difficult circumstances. Safety and reassurance help me to raise a psychologically balanced generation. As for society, humanitarian work and standing by people in their tragedies are a cure for my soul and a medicine for them. I strive for every woman who was forced by war to be strong, confident and believe in her abilities.
The changes that took place after the refuge on a personal level are that I began to develop my own skills by attending English language and computer skills training and courses. I volunteered as a community worker in projects aimed at empowering refugee girls. Then I moved to work as a social worker, giving awareness sessions for refugee mothers. I also worked as a facilitator in a project on childhood and motherhood skills for Syrian refugee mothers. Now I am working on a sewing project to revive the heritage of the Syrian dress. The difficulties and challenges I faced are the difficulties of finding training for my age group and the difficulty of the economic situation in securing transportation expenses to the training place.
The biggest challenge was securing the requirements of my family and my work and scheduling time. But I thank God because I was able to overcome it by searching for organizations that receive my age group. Moreover, I worked on time management by reconciling my work with the requirements of my family and distributing tasks among family members. As a leader, I can influence the community level through a deep understanding of the context of reality, sharing my personal experience, and sharing it with people if necessary. As for the family, building trust, instilling values, befriending the children, and catching the positives in the children.
After I was a weak person, I felt that I needed a place to go for it, to settle down, and to build myself again. I was the struggling woman who endured all the suffering in order to start her journey again, as I was the role model for my family. I was looking at the thing that hurt me the most and it was urging me to move forward so that I wouldn't get weak and fall back. I was me and because I am and nothing deserves to stop me from getting what I deserve because I am a rose and I have the right to bloom and live as I deserve, to make every woman, girl, and child… live.
I was suffering, but the will made me strong in overcoming all the difficulties and moving on all the pains, and I left all that, but I always turned to the past because there, I can overcome all the difficulties, challenge all obstacles, and look forward by strength and passion.
I changed first on the psychological level, and I was able to express my opinion without fear, and I felt that I was a human being with independent rights that should not be waived, and then I was liberated from my internal restrictions. I was looking for places of self-determination and looking for people to support me in changing customs and traditions. From the heart of my story, I was looking for supporters so that I could reduce the phenomenon of child marrying and infanticide that I had experienced. This was my first goal. I faced many challenges and difficulties, and the first was the challenge of being free from self-imprisonment, physical imprisonment, and violence I was subjected, the greatest challenge was facing my divorce, where I was able to overcome the customs, traditions, society, family, injustice, violence and deprivation.
I have been subjected to it and I have been able to overcome it with my strength and my ability to insist as well as my own in a country where women's right to decide is somewhat undermined. The word "leader" makes me an effective component of society and the greatest influence on society. My family is my personal story and my experience, and my self-esteem, community organizing, engagements, and my strength in civil society have the greatest impact on our current society. By organizing and insisting on the people, they are the basis of any societal change and hopefully, we can influence society and the family.
The changes that took place on the personal level are decision-making on the family and societal levels, where in the past I relied on others to make the decision, as I always sought the opinion of my husband and my family before I made any decision, but at the present time I can make the decision on my own without consulting others, I have found through my experience in this life that no one can interfere within my personal life. I played a leadership and awareness role on all levels, on the economic level, I searched for a job so that I could support and educate my children, but on the social level, I was loved by everyone and had good relations with the surroundings because I work to support the families of Syrian refugees, follow them up and guide them to what they are. They need it by connecting them to associations that are able to help them because of their current conditions, such as medicine or to solve the problems they face. I also worked on following up with students who could not register or enroll in public schools. On the political level, I formed an association called the Association of Bekaa Activists. I used to work with families who had missing persons by connecting them with the committees by holding dialogue sessions. The parents gave me absolute confidence, as I was on their side for every moment.
The challenges and difficulties that I faced is the society’s view of the customs, traditions, and customs of being a woman, in addition to the curriculum in Syria and its disadvantages, since the curriculum here is taught in English. I was able to keep on through discussion, positive effective dialogue, counseling, and helping others free of charge, in addition to being able to be an influential person in society. I have always considered that all Syrians are my family and they really need guidance.
The changes that happened to me on a personal level is the loss of my husband, who in turn made me a father and a mother together to take responsibility. Fear and anxiety dominated my life, in addition to instability, a feeling of loss, exploitation, abuse, and pressure. After refuge, I tried to find a job that met my needs, as well as I sought to develop myself, increase my self-confidence, and strengthen my personality in order to become more capable of bearing responsibility. Among the challenges I faced was the high cost of living, the inability to secure my needs, and the community's lack of acceptance of my being without a husband, in addition to the difficulty of dealing with my children after the loss of my husband. I turned to organizations such as Damma, which helped me to overcome difficulties, increase my self-confidence, and turn to people who support my abilities and direct positive behavior.
I was able to influence society and my family by practicing what I learned from organizations and applying it in my life, supporting women who live the same experience as me, obtaining a leadership personality, and taking the initiative while playing the role of the breadwinner without the need for a provider.
I am an Arabic language teacher, and I found myself without work and without a school for my son, in addition to the economic situation that played a role, and I was forced to search for a source of income for my family members, and I resorted to searching for a job opportunity so that I could help. I joined a leadership training, and I am now a member of the "We Are for Each Other" initiative. I stood by my husband and provided support and assistance to him due to the large expenses incurred by the family and the fact that I am a financially independent person.
The economic situation was one of the most difficult challenges we faced in addition to the instability, but with that I always tried, wherever I was, to make a change and to challenge the difficulties that I am facing. Being a literacy trainer and dealing with several women and groups, I always consider that education is the first step to empowering women to be able to realize themselves in society, in addition to supporting my family and helping them to be the first and healthy building blocks.
My life has changed dramatically I moved to a point of no return. I assumed the full responsibility of the family in the absence of the father, and the young age of my children carried me above my pain, in addition to completing their educational attainment and preserving their humanity. I took the initiative and started working, moving between camps, schools, and handicrafts until I ended up in my current place, I faced many problems and social pressures, but I overcame all the difficulties and overcame them with a will, determination, trust in God, self-confidence, and from here I decided to return to my small dream of obtaining a university degree.
It was a crazy and bold idea, but with faith in God and will and support from the surroundings, I made the decision, and this is how we are, we will remain, and we will be mothers with an iron will, wise decision, and peace. This is how the Syrian woman taught the world the meaning of steadfastness, challenge, and victory.
I came to Lebanon like any refugee who came to a new life. We had to adapt to one of the Bekaa camps, which contained 80 Syrian families, I escaped from the war and arrest, and after a period of time, I volunteered in the organization responsible for the camp and an area for some organizations that used to come to the camp and this communication gives me some experiences that I used to share with the people of the camp, such as organization numbers to obtain some identification papers, confirm marriage and other needs, which strengthened my self-confidence, and this gave me strength in personality and taught me how to deal with others more tactfully. I played several different roles, including within the camp in which I live, and I am now responsible for an initiative that I got funded after a year-long training, and it is now continuing.
It concerns the children of Syrian detainees, and we, as a team of 5 women, are running this initiative. There are many challenges, including being a woman and a mother of four children, and also being a woman, her place is her home, and the view from society, but this thing does not concern me, because my work within the camp has strengthened my self-confidence, and the training I received gave me more strength to overcome these difficulties. On the level of the camp, the women within the camp see me as the ideal for them. They consult me on everything that happens to them and takes my opinion. If they need any legal assistance or something related to psychological support or training such as computers, I help them reach their needs, and this enhances their confidence in me, and some of them need to reach the IRC, so I communicate with some schools for their children to access school seats.